I am a Christian

First off, let me apologize to those who do not think this is important. And to those who have been hit over the head with radicial ideas in the name of Christianity.

I am a Christian. I believe in God, that Jesus was His Son, that He died for MY sins, rose again and is preparing a place for me in heaven.

Now to become a Christian, I believe I must acknowledge my sin, recognize that God sent His Son to die for my sins, ask for His forgiveness and then try to live a better life.

I am NOT perfect, just forgiven. I cannot be perfect only strive to live the life Christ would have me live. Following His example. And I fail-continually. But I am so glad He is there to forgive and guide me.

What bothers me is how people prevert the true gospel of Christ to suit their own agenda. My grandson has shared about a "street" preacher at IU and the crazy things he is saying. It bothers me that he calls himself a Christian preacher and then is pushing people away with the things he says that comes from the Bible or God or at least his interpertation of Gods direction.

It bothers me when people say they are Christian, but by the way they live and the things they do they give Christianity a bad name. The Bible says by our fruits we are known. I think sometimes people are producing some rotten fruit and claiming to be Christians. I repeat I am not perfect and I make mistakes, but I try not to push my Christianity down peoples throats. Maybe I do not witness like I should, but I am not afraid of rejection as much as causing someone to walk away from Christ because of my imperfections.

I have been struggling lately with a lot of anger and hate about certain things that are happening to people because non-Christians want to tear us down and tie our hands and bind our mouths to the truth. God has confronted me about that and I had to fall on my knees and ask His forgiveness. He had to remind me that He is in control and I need to trust Him that things happen because of His divine plan. I need to get out of His way. That is so hard I do not like not being in control.

Visit to Indy

This last week we went to Indianapolis to visit my sisters. The trip down was eventful! Merv is still recovering from his surgery so he wanted to stretch out in back and rest about 2/3 of the way down. I was driving. I thought there was a strange noise. At first I thought it was a lawn mower, ultra lite plane, or moped. I would slow up and listen and noise would stop. Finally I was going to pull over, but was in an area where there was not much room. I was getting ready to pull over noticed car smelled hot, thermostat did not register hot. Woke Merv as the car died and I lost power steering and power. Did not get complete off road but most of way. He raised hood and car was on fire. He called 911 and Birdie to come get us. Operator said get back from car so we unloaded it and fire department came and put fire out. Hamiltoban Co. sheriffs dept called wrecker, car was towed ($300.00) and later we made arrangements to get alternator repaired ($400.00). Rest of visit was good.

One thing we did was go to Lebanon Ind to drive past Great Grandmother Elizabeths old house and to visit cemetary where we used to play as children.

Usually when you go to someplace you knew as a child, it seems smaller. Not this cemetary-it was huge. Of course Merv had to remind us it has been 50 years and several people have probably died since then.

Great Grandmas house looked about the same, there were some changes but we found it right away. Great Grandmother enjoyed playing dominoes. We would sit around her dining room table and play. She was about 6 feet tall and wore button down the front housedresses. She was rather flat chested and to get them to fit her height the dresses were a little large through the chest area and would hang low and she was a very private person and would wear a brooch at the top neck area to hold it closed. I have several of those brooches. Her front parlor was rarely used and in the winter was very cold. She did not use her upstairs any more either, but we liked to play up there.
She was Grannies mother-in-law but Grannie had a better relationship with her then with her own mother. I wish I could remember more about her.

Changes

I am not sure if it is my age or just me, but when I have to "change"some things I really get flusrated. I got a new laptop. I have not had one before so I guess that is really not a change, but getting used to a new set up is. This is Windows 7, old computer is Vista. Laptop has no mouse yet and not so used to the finger pad. Also not hooked to printer yet so have to look up things I want to print out on old computer that is attached to printer. Supposed to be a way to send it to the printer, but kids have not helped me with that (and I don't want to try on my own).


The biggest change made is a new cell phone. I really hate that change, but old one was acting up. So it means contacting everyone in my list with new number, transfering contacts and numbers to my new phone. Also getting used to new set up on phone, it is very different from my old one. I get a pay as you go phone, not on husbands plan so I don't use up his minutes. It may not be the cheapest way to go, but I have gotten used to having a cell phone. Going online and setting it up was not hard, but aggraviting at times. Still working on learning the phones ins and outs. It has a camera and I was trying to figure out where the view finder is and if I had taken a picture, I would have had a shot of my eye. What I thought was the view finder was the lens. I still have not figured out how to put contacts in. Can't get the letters punched in right makes me unhappy. I know if I would read the book that came with it I would know whats what, but what is the fun in that its more fun to push buttons and see what happens. Isn't the best way to learn by trial and error?



Spare me from changes. Hope this phone is the last one I will ever need, but probably not. Can't they all be exactly alike!

ScFy

I am hoping this weekend there are a lot of good scfy movies on the ScFy channel. I am in the mood for some good "critter" features. Of course I could watch the 4 Tremor movies I have (again). I guess I am a little different than most "grandmas". Give me a good critter scfy movie over a chick flick any day. I even have some of my granddaughters watching them with me. I do not care for vampire, nightmare, jason etc type movies. I don't like sick people doing things to other people. I like over grown animals-something that won't really happen. I did not care for Kevin Bacon that much till I saw him in the first Tremor movie, love his character. Love the line-"I got me a plan"-as he is running toward the cliff edge with a bomb in his hand. I like all the Jaws movies too and Sheriff Brody's "I think we need a bigger boat" is a classic line. Jurassic movies are great also-course they had a bigger budget than most critter movies. Some are just too cheesy to be funny not scary. Some just go for how much gore can be shown without much plot. They do not need blood to be good. I like all the Alien movies, really any outer space creature is good. Anaconda, Boa vs Python are entertaining to me also. Of course I do not want to face any of these extra large critters. I wonder if one reason I enjoy these movies is that my first drive-in theater experience was "Them" about over grown ants. Also the cult classic "The Blob" came out while I was a teenager. I like some "ghost" type movies but not all. Like Ghost Ship was good but series Ghost Hunters is unbelievable. I would have to see a ghost to believe in them. With movies camaras they can do any trick and make it seem real. I have been known to jump while watching some of these movies especially at times you know something is going to happen any second now and sure enough as you are tense and waiting for it (jump) out pops the over grown supergator and grabs the person standing at the edge of the water. These movies are escapes for me. Even tho my life is good I enjoy the unreality of these movies. I also liked the Jules Vern books and movies based on his books while I was growing up. These are adventures I find interesting but would not leave the comforts of my home to try. I would not be the one to face down thses creatures either. Just let me watch:)

I have been thinking about my family history and wishing I had asked more questions and paid attention to statements made. I do not know very much about my father's family. I only know my dad's mom's maiden name. I do not remember whether Grandpa or Grandma had brothers or sisters and names. Wish I had paid more attention. I remember various cousins on that side of the family but how we all "fit" together I don't know. I remember going to an "aunt's" house but how they were related I am not sure. Do not even know birthplace to begin a search. I know of course Dad's brother and his sisters and their kids, but beyond that I do not have a clue. At a special 50th anniversary for my sister I made contact with some cousins from that side of the family that I do remember and need to follow up with them and get the information they have. I don't remember many stories from Dad about his childhood either. One story was why Dad did not like marshmellows. He and a friend cut school had a couple of large bags of marshmellows and that was all they had to eat that day. When he got home he was sick from all the "sugar" and then got a leather strap used on him for cutting school. His father believed in strict displine. Dad also was a bit of a "bad boy" he made a rubber band gun and shot rubber bands at people he did not like. He also made some metal slugs and used it at a neighbor hood store to play pinball as long as he could. He roller skated around the neightbor hood. Near his home was a business with a loading dock. Dad and his friends would skate off this dock. Back in those days they did not know about knee or elbow pads or helmets. One time Dad fell and landed with his leg under him and his butt landed right on top of his foot. He could hardly walk but did not tell his dad because he knew he would get in trouble. He had horrible back problems as an adult and always felt that fall probably had something to do with his back.
As a child, I spent more time with Mom's mom. Grandpa passed when I was 9 so Grannie was alone and we liked to go keep her company. Grandpa was a "fun" grandpa which we all liked. He was that way growing up and a gambler too. Grannie loved him but was not happy with his habit of risking his pay when they were raising a family of 7 during the depression. Grandpa was a mailman and also a crossing guard for the nearby school. All the kids called him "Grandpa". He was well thought of and died too young. Grannie made the best jelly. She would take several fruit juices and combine them to make a "mixed" fruit jelly and it was delicious. Her elderberry and black raspberry jelly was good too. She told me several stories but now I cannot remember all the details and I wish I could. One story she told was how her grandparents on both sides did not like each other and did not want her parents to marry. Her parents were having financial struggles so one lived in Indiana and one in Ohio so he could find work. I do not remember which one lived in which state. However, I do remember Grannie saying the parents of one and the sisters of the other intercepted the letters they each sent. Grannie's mom thought her husband was not sending any money because there were no letters. Grannie's dad thought his wife did not care or was not appreciating the money sent. Because of all this turmoil, Grannie's parents divorced which at that time was a horrible thing. So Grannie's grandparents announced his death in the paper. He did not die at that time they did that for appearances. It was many years later that Grannie found out her father did not die and that she had a half sister. I wish I knew all the details and Grannie probably told me, but now many, many years later, I cannot remember it all. I think this is why Grannie was close to Grandpa's mother Great Grandma Elizabeth. She had a good relationship with her and things were always strained with her family. She talked more of Grandpa's family then her own. I guess that is a good thing about blogging it is an opportunity to record our thoughts, history and stories that might be lost or forgotten.

Stuff

Last blog was about keepsakes. Well, what about "stuff"? I have too much stuff. Ask my kids and husband. I have asked what are they going to do with this when I die. My husband said just set it by the side of the road. I said if he did that I would come back and haunt him. I have 2 huge totes of stamped lines ready to be embroidered. The granddaughters have shown some interest in that, I know I will probably not get them done. Then there is my fabric-5-6 huge totes of fabric and projects started but not yet finished. I have quilt blocks and quilt pieces cut out for table centerpieces and quilts, but will I get them finished? I have doll clothes I started when the girls still played with dolls. I have scraps of material from my daughters wedding dress (a dear friend made it). And we won't mention the mending basket. Then there are the dolls I was going to repair, some are very old, purchased on ebay when I was going to open a doll hospital. And silks for arrangements since that is a skill developed when I worked. Cermaics to paint, beads to string, decoupage to do, cardmaking and scrapbooking and all the tools and supplies. Oh yes and doll house furniture kits (ebay again) to furnish the doll house. Who will want any of this or do I sell it now and then what do I do since I am retired? Oh, I forgot the yarn for making afghans and the several hundred of books I have yet to read. Is it any wonder that my dust bunnies are growing? Who has time to clean? I want to finish so many things and as you get older you get slower. Some things I need to let go, but like I have said I am a "collector" and there is always the idea that maybe I will get things done:)

Keepsakes

I have become the family's keeper of the keepsakes. I tend to be like my granny-I collect things. Not necessarily valuable things to anyone but me. Two of my sisters have passed on some items they had with the idea I will value them and keep them. They are correct. I have a bunch of old sepia tintype pictures that look like some of mom's ancestors, but I have no idea who they are. My aunt in Fla. might know if I could ever show them to her. Also I have become the keeper of a very old Bible about 6 inches thick that someone gave to Dad. It was printed in the 1800's, is falling apart, but in Dad's handwriting inside it says do not sell. Mom & Dad had 3 different times in their lives when they were apart. They wrote letters back and forth each time. Those letters are very fragile so I want to read them, put them in order and print copies and make a book of them for anyone else in the family that wants to read them. What is amazing to me is that they each kept the others letters, then Mom saved them all! What great history of their love for each other. So I guess it wasn't just grannies collecting, it was Mom too. Wonder what my kids will want to keep of mine?

Grandchildren

It is great to watch grandchildren grow and change, but it is also bittersweet. Two of my grandsons will graduate from High School this year. One is going to IU and the other is going into the Air Force. I realize that our relationship will change and that is more difficult for me then when my children "left the nest". When they come home for visits, their time will be taken up with friends and mom & dad. I hope they save some time for Mammaw. It has been so wonderful to watch them grow into fine young men. My mom used to tell me grandchildren were the best thing ever and if she had known how great it was she would have had them first (haHa). Children give joy, work and lots of worry; grandchildren give joy without the work and worry. You still worry, but not about the day to day things. I would not take any money in the world for the hugs and kisses and talks they give me. I look forward in some ways to the future and what it might hold for all 10 of my grandchildren. What will they become, what will they do, where will they go, but I also wish time would slow down. Hopefully I will take time this summer to spend as much time as possible and hold them close for awhile.

Finally figured out how to get this started. I enjoy the computer and all you can do with it, but not growing up in the "techie" age it is a little slow to figure out sometimes. It amazes me to see my grandchildren pop on the computer zip through different things faster than I can read the directions. I wonder what "new" ideas and inventions are out there in someones mind ready to be developed. I remember my grandmother talking about all the advancements and changes she had seen in her lifetime. She was born in the late 1800's and saw advancements in transportation. What awaits us? Will it be a blessing or a curse? Seems like all inventions and advancements have both.
Television-we have entertainment at our fingertips, movies to view whenever, information from all over the world but it can become ruler of our lives. I can remember life before television. We read, we played games, we used our imaginations, we were active.
We were one of the last homes in our neighborhood to get a TV. Dad said it was not going to last, I think it was the cost. Before TV Dad would play games with us. How many kids can say their Dad sat on the floor and played "Jacks", pick up sticks and other games with them. Once TV game into the house and Dad discovered sports on it that ended the play time.